My Biography: Debra Woods Hamilton 

Hello, welcome to my own little spot. I chose these page colors because I was trying to describe the colors of a Utah sunset in a song I wrote, and decided they were "Lavender & Coral, blazing in the sky above." I figured if God used these colors to paint the evening sky, they'd suit me just fine.

BIG NEWS
On Friday January 21, 2005, I was married to Jerry Hamilton.  Read our story

My Background
I was born at home in a small town in Southwest Ohio moving 4 years later to the nearby community of Oxford, Ohio. I'm sure I have a very selective memory, but as I recall, my childhood was wonderful. Oxford is nestled amidst numerous rural communities and is the home of Miami University, one of the lovliest campuses in the Midwest. I graduated from Talawanda High School with many of the same people I attended Kindergarten with, and to add to my security, my parents loved me openly, provided for me well, taught me good principles by their example, and kept their commitments to one another. I had great friends, wonderful teachers, and a safe environment, and we lived close enough to a large city to be exposed to all that metropolitan stuff without having to live in it. I was confident and happy.

At the age of 16, I found and joined  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which, contrary to my father's prediction, I have remained actively a member of for these 23 years. It changed the course of my life dramatically, though I couldn't possibly see how much at the time.

I attended Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah beginning in the fall of 1976. Thirteen years later, including a nine year sabbatical enrolled in the school of hard knocks, I graduated with a BA in Theater Arts. I promptly got some computer training to subsist in the real world at the local community college and proceded to secure a job at WordPerfect Corporation. The skills I gained there have been my meal ticket ever since. That's why I feel it is high time I got on-line this way.

I met and married Chris Andrus in 1979. We are the parents of two wonderful boys who are now both taller than me!
 
Bill is 26.    He is working in Denver this summer (2007) and will be starting in Graphics Design this Fall at UVSC. Here he is with his "little" brother, the night Max got set apart as a missionary.
Max is 23 ,
and is a sophomore at Utah Valley State College, 
Orem, Utah. He returned from serving a mission in Russia on Nov. 15, 2006
Here he is pictured with his mission president in 2006
.

I've been a single parent for about 13 years and I now live in my own home in Saratoga Springs, Utah.

My mother, Anne Woods, had been living with me for the past nearly 10 years.  She passed away at the age of 83 on January 17th, 2002 here at home with me in Bountiful.  She had suffered with luekemia for several months and kept her suffering to herself so well, we were all shocked to discover how advanced it was just after Christmas.  She fell and was taken to the hospital on January 7, and we started home hospice care that afternoon.  My sister Kathy and I cared for her till her passing with the invaluable help of VistaCare Hospice.  Her funeral was on January 19th here in Bountiful and all her children and many of her grandchildren were here.  We flew to Oxford Ohio for her burial next to my father on their 56 wedding anniversary, January 26th, 2002.  I have prepared a webpage for her memorial. The poetic news is that Mom was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints less than three months before she died!  That has brought me so much comfort since her death.  My son Bill was able to baptize her here in Bountiful on October 20th, 2001.  I miss her very much but often feel her comforting me.  Kitty is missing her very much too.


My Interests

I discovered at a very young age that I loved the arts. First I think it was music. Then art. Then theater. Acting has definately won out, but I have not changed much over the years in that I still love to bounce amoungst all three and add anything else I can fit in along the way. I use all my talents to some degree in my church service, and also in my home. I paint murals, arrange flowers, decorate cakes, sew, draw, compose music, write poetry, sing in choirs, sing as a soloist at church and in shows. I act, design, direct, produce, and teach theater. I refinish furniture, reupholster furniture, do alot of desktop publishing, and recently learned how to work in stained glass, which I love if I could only find the time.

It was through church that I discovered I had a real gift with children. I direct children's music, create puppets and do puppet theater, teach, tell wonderful stories, and can capture the attention of most children very easily. The best thing I do is radiate the love of the Savior for them, which they cannot resist. I feel a special kinship with artistic children who I love to encourage and guide. I try to bring out the creativity in all children.

I have served in the Primary (children's) organization of the church for the better part of 18 years. Usually as music leader. I was first counselor, Nursery Leader, Stake Music Leader, and chorister again. I have hardly lived in a ward that I have not been the music leader. It is my favorite position. I served as our ward Primary President for a short time. Primary is where I am the very most comfortable. I love it! I have also served in Relief Society, Young Women, on the Activities Committee, and stake Communications Committee, and the Stake Director of Public Affairs. I've done many roadshows and Christmas plays, decorate for weddings and dances, teach mini-classes and sing in the ward and stake choirs. I had the wonderful privilege of singing in one of the dedicatory choirs for the Dedication of the Orlando Temple. What a glorious experience this was! I was a temple ordinance worker from September 1997 - 1999 and I loved it!

I've lived in:



My Testimony

I knew I had found what I was searching for the very first time I consented to listen to the mormon missionaries in 1975. I had tried fruitlessly to practice my christianity in a church where I felt comfortable for many years. I couldn't find anyone who was willing to stand up and declare the Gospel with sincerity and authority. Many did one or the other, but not both. So apologetic was one minister, so bewildered another, so sanctimonious the next, while others were cold or luke-warm, or without faith and succumbed to intellectualism. Others were performing, yet others were preying on the gullible for money and power. The best of them just could not or would not lead me any closer than an introductory glimpse at Christ.

Then on a hot July afternoon in Orlando, Florida, two young LDS missionaries sat across a coffee table from me and taught me more about Christ in 40 minutes than all the years of previous searching had gleaned. And the best part was, I could tell they had much more to teach me! And how I longed to learn! I knew it was true. I knew I had found what I had nearly given up looking for, and I knew I'd be a mormon, much to my own surprise. Less than four weeks later, I had returned to Ohio, had all the missionary discussions, and been baptized and confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The Lord has been very patient and gentle with me while I have learned his truths and overcome my own weaknesses. He has kept every promise he ever made to me, and as a single-parent, I manage more by faith than any other thing. The Lord provides a better insurance policy, investment portfolio, retirement plan, and security system than anything available in the world today. He is the best partner a person can have, no matter in what station of life you are.

I acknowledge that his kingdom on the earth today is fully functioning and embodied in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We are lead by a living prophet and apostles who are intimate with the Lord Jesus Christ. They know him. When they speak, it is with a deep personal knowledge and great humility yet authority.

Christ atoned for our sins. He suffered for all our pain. He has won us back if we will only follow him. His love and his sacrifice are incomprehensible to me, but manifest over and over again in my life.

Father has provided us with his word which I never cease to marvel at. I love the scriptures. I especially love the Book of Mormon. It is not the mormon version of the Bible. I thought it was when I first heard my sister speak of it. Thank heaven I overcame my initial repulsion to this purported additional book of scripture. For the years I struggled to understand the Bible were replaced with clear understanding of simple truths, and now I can read both volumes of scripture with joy and thanksgiving. The Book of Mormon is the Word of God. It was written and compiled by ancient prophets of the new world, and translated, with the power of God, by a living prophet just over 165 years ago.

The Lord kept his promise to restore his church which had fallen into apostacy after the death of the apostles nearly 2000 years ago. He did so by preparing this nation of religious freedom, and raising up a prophet to come forth in the early years of this nations history. Joseph Smith is that prophet of the Restoration and I am so grateful for his willingness and preparation to fulfill this immense responsibility.


These are a Few of My Favorite Things


I love maple sugar, Dove Dark Chocolate, sunshine through the leaves, American Fork Canyon in the Wasatch Mountian Range, performing with talented artists, the music of Tom Chapin, other people's pets, The Wizard of Oz, the smell of jasmine in the spring, daffodils, Charles Dickens, Jane Austin, I Love Lucy, James Taylor, the scent of fresh ground pepper, fresh cilantro, or cloves, getting to know more about my ancestors, singing harmony around the campfire, smoked cheese, in fact, smoked anything, Shakespeare Kenneth Branagh style, all of Gilda Radner's characters on the "original" Saturday Night Live series, the stars on a clear night, a beautiful sunset, the internet, helping people, Primary, learning about future technology, watching Star Trek with my kids (any series or film), museums, sharing my talents, writing in my journal, spending time with my friends, and knowing I am being led by the spirit.

Here's the Latest . . . 
newest stuff added to the bottom

In 1997 I did some soul searching and decided I had neglected my talents and personal dreams and it was time to change that. I attended the Mormon Arts Festival in St. George, Utah and got inspired. I came home and started this web page, found a publisher for my Primary materials, Richard Maher Northeast LDS Publishing who published my Primary Scripture Search Volume #1. I quit working to write that book.  It came off the presses in January. We plan on at least one new volume each year, maybe more often if it does well.


In December 1997 we had our 6th annual production of Handel's Messiah. This year I took charge of the Public Affairs aspects of the event. What a lot of new ground to break. It all turned out well, I know it was worth it.  The four of us traveled up northish during Spring break, in order to attend the wedding of my oldest nephew, in Lexington, KY.  Despite the weather, we had a good time.  Sure glad Mom bought a new van!  We stopped in Asheville, NC, Beuna Vista, VA, Chillicothe, OH, Dayton, OH, Oxford, OH, Mammoth Caves National Park in Kentucky, and were in Lexington for three days.  We toured the Toyota plant in Georgetown where our new Sienna was manufactured.  It was good to see folks we hadn't seen in many moons, and the wedding was beautiful.  The boys are finally done with the plays they were each in at school this Spring.  Max was additionally in Odessey of the Mind.  His team placed 7th in the State.  I am now working on my second book, this one will be Seminary Scripture Search Volume #1, Power Tools of the Doctrine & Covenants, hoping for an August release.

In June 1998 we had our Stake Youth Conference production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  It was fabulous.  I designed costumes (come take a look at Joseph's coat), sets, and props.  Bill played Rueben, and Max was the Baker.  We did the whole thing, from first rehearsal to final performance in two weeks, working night and day.  It was the best work I have ever done.  My friend Ramona directed it and it was the best work she has ever done.  The cast were mostly first timers on stage and they were so incredible.  We WOWED the audiences and had a wonderful time.  Then we turned right around and got Bill off to BYU within a week.  I was exhausted but very satisfied.

I attended the LDS Bookseller's Convention in SLC and the CES Symposium at BYU in August 1998.

I finished my first seminary book in July 1998 and it is now out, and in October finished my Primary Scripture Search - Volume #2, A Garden of Faith released December 1998!

Worked like crazy for the 1998 Messiah Concert.  We had a performance in Lake County which was televised . . . moving up in the world!

5/1/99 - Busy year already, with a MAJOR Public Affairs event, our "You've Touched My Life" Teacher Appreciation Night in February, and a trip to Utah in March/April.

7/1/99) Moving to Bountiful, Utah.  Bill has received his mission call to Long Beach California.  He goes to the MTC September 1. My next Seminary Scripture Search should come out later this month.  Will attend BYU CES Symposium as well as the LDS Booksellers Association Convention in August.  Maybe we will pull off a miracle and get the third Primary Scripture Search done for the convention as well, haven't even started on it, waiting for the Primary Outline for 2000, we'll see!

8/20/99 We got to Bountiful safe and sound on July 9.  Max has gone on to Richland, Washington to live with his father, so it has been just me, Mom, and Bill this summer.  Soon it will be just Mom and I!  I attended the 1999 LDSBA Convention and narrowly missed the tornado that hit Salt Lake City, just one block from the Delta Center.  I was oblivious to the bad weather until the electricity started going on and off.  It went off for good and soon we started hearing there had been a tornado!  Glad I didn't look out the window, tornados are my worst childhood nightmare, growing up in the midwest.  Anyway, I finally had a new book ready for the Old Testament Symposium at BYU - they sold out of the 500 they ordered at the BYU Bookstore, and we got lots of orders at the convention.  I am absolutely smitten with the mountians, they feed my soul like nothing I could find in Florida.  I am very happy to be back in Utah.  Bountiful is a very nice place to live.

10/9/99 Bill is now on his mission in Long Beach, California.  Sounds like he is doing well.  Max has started school at Richland High School.  Mom had cataract surgery on her right eye and will soon have the other eye done.  I finished my 5th book and it should be out in about a week.  I miss my friends in Florida, but I LOVE these Utah mountains!  Autumn is breathtaking.  Getting lots of genealogy done. 

11/5/99 I found a choir to sing the Messiah with!  The South Davis Civic Chorale.  They've been around for a long time here in Bountiful, and they sing several songs I have never sung.  It is different singing at a Jr. High and being surrounded by strangers, but I don't let people stay strangers for long.  Our conductor is the local CBS daytime weather man, Sterling Poulson, and he is a lot of fun.  Bill had his first baptism on his mission, and Max is 1st chair in the trombone section of the band.  Mom and I are planning a trip to La Jolla for Thanksgiving to see my brother Bill and his family.  (Now, I wouldn't be surprised if we happened to swing up to say, uh, Long Beach, JUST TO LOOK AT THE SCENERY, during that trip).  I met with the manager of the new little theater the church is building adjacent to the new Conference Center in Salt Lake City, and I look forward to participating in the wonderful things that will soon be happening there.  I have been working on genealogy and now have LOTS of temple work to do for my ancestors!  I just started as a volunteer at the Bountiful Temple.  We are counseled to stand in holy places, and, well, I stand for four hours every Wednesday, working in the temple cafeteria!  I lead the music in Sacrament Meeting every other Sunday.  Still warm temperatures here in Utah . . . kinda late for an Indian Summer, but I don't mind.

3/6/2000 - Made it through Y2K AOK - rather a let down after all the hype - but it got me to work on my food storage!  Mom and I had a quiet NYE at home watching the worldwide celebrations on TV and watching old movies.  Max had come for Christmas, which was great, and we talked for a couple hours or so to Bill on his mission.  Both Bill and Max are doing great!  Bill has had a bunch of baptisms and loves teaching - Max is on the yearbook staff, track team, and is taking wrestling - and turns 16 this month!

I made my GREAT STAGE COMEBACK after an 8 year sabbatical, playing the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella at the little theater just down the street! I found out that my old college friend, Annette Wright was directing it, so I went to auditions and she put me to work.  What a great time I had!  It was the perfect experience for me to get back on stage.  The show was absolutely delightful.  I made lots of new friends, re-established some old friendships, and made some good theater contacts.  Mostly I got my confidence back and discovered I STILL love the theater, if I ever wondered, and I guess I did.

I have been obsessed with family history too - I can't seem to pull myself away from it, and hopefully will start having a genealogy page here on this website.

Another IMPORTANT thing that has happened is we adopted a kitty!  Mom hasn't had a pet since Saika - our Abasinian from way back in 1978.  I haven't had a pet in 10 years either.  So this is a big deal for us.  We went to three animal shelters and it never worked out, so when I heard about a great breed of cats from an e-friend - I checked out breeders in SLC and found one and within a couple days, we had our kitty.  Mom and I don't agree what to name her, so she remains "Kitten."  She is a Maine Coon Cat, and true to form, she really is a wonderful pet.  Only thing is all the scratches we end up with.  Other than that, she is PURRRRRR-fect. Take a look at KITTEN'S PHOTO ALBUM.

I am working on a new writing challenge - a new book for converts to the LDS church.  I wanted to introduce the LDS scriptures to them, like I do in my other books for children and youth, and I am collaborating with author, Ken Alford, and we will also have a "How to - getting to know the church" section, and most dear to my heart, a section of collected conversion stories.  PLEASE send yours in to be included in the book!  The ones I have collected so far are so wonderful - this will be a powerful book, not just for new converts, but for everyone.

I plan on attending the Sunday afternoon session of April General Conference at the brand new Conference Center!


6/23/2001 - It has been ages since I wrote.  I had a cool opportunity to participate in the workshop cast of the first musical to be performed in the new Conference Center Theater.  I got to sing a solo for apostles!  Way cool!  I designed a website, my best work ever, for my dear and most talented friend, Julia Davis Allen - for her new album.  I started teaching at Utah Career College in fall 2000.  I played Mrs. Fezziwig and the Charwoman in A Christmas Carol at the new and absolutely breath taking Hale Center Theater in Salt Lake City.  I started taking courses with Landmark Education Corporation in September 2000.  My sister Kathy and her daughters Chelsea & Lindsay moved in with us in September as well.  My first time having little girls in my home!  It has been fun.  I got my own domain and web host for this website and  launched my Primary, ETC.ezine in January 2001.  It has been fun to generate that much creativity.  Mom had some health scares this year and she is slowing down, but still remarkably  well for 83!  Bill comes home from his mission in about 6 weeks!  He will attend BYU again in the fall, rooming with friends he made in the dorm before his mission.  Max and I are taking a trip alone together in July - hopefully up into Canada and wherever else we decide to go.

Really this last nine months have been about me taking a long hard look at my life and figuring out why, now that my kids are grown, I can't seem to step out and up into my life as I expected and planned - fear has kept me paralyzed - and through my Landmark courses, I have had some HUGE eye-openers that are now kicking me into gear - that will take some serious writing to share.  One cool thing is that I have reconnected with a number of people from my past which has been a tremendous experience.  I have been cut off from all of that and carrying the loss all these years, and it is great to be back in touch with dear old friends.


5/22/2002 - It has been quite a year!  I attended all those courses with Landmark Education - which really took my focus in 2001 - about the time I finished my last course, my sister and daughters moved out, and I discovered how dependent Mom had become - it just got moreso from there.  I was thrilled, however, when she invited the new sister missionaries in to visit one day and shortly thereafter they told me she had accepted their invitation to be baptized!  Actually I didn't believe it for awhile!  26 years of affiliation and she finally was prepared to join the church!  Her care monopolized a lot of my time and I found it difficult to do much else.  I didn't know it was the luekemia that was taking it's toll on her - I thought it was the medication and depression - and hoped that we could get her feeling better.  Well, she was simply experiencing the textbook symptoms of the disease and I didn't know it.  I attended a wonderful Single Adult Institute Class that fall, as well as a wonderful Ceramics Class at the University of Utah, Bountiful Campus.  Caring for Mom the last few weeks took all my energy - emotional and physical.  She worsened every day and I struggled to accept it.  Finally I saw that she would not last many more days, but hoped that she would hang on till my oldest siblings arrived.  She died the day before they flew in.  Mommy.  Sweet Mommy.  Her funeral was lovely as was her burial.  I stayed a week in Oxford - at the home of Jane Strippel.  I was so deeply touched by my experience in Oxford.  The efforts of a few yeilded visits with many dear old friends.  How I love Oxford.  I realized I had not felt at HOME since I left there.  I very much considered moving there again.  I know I would feel happy there - I would be welcomed by old friends and new - the LDS branch there would be thrilled to have me - I could make a life for myself there so easily.  But after a few days I got this itchy feeling - that same feeling I had when I left Oxford in 1976 - that though I was completely comfortable there, it wasn't where I was supposed to be.  Shucks!  That would have been so easy!  At least I have made my peace with my home town and all the love I experienced there as I grew up.  That is such a blessing and treasure to me!

So now what to do?  I have felt it was time to pursue an old dream - to have my own TV show!  I didn't know how to go about it, but I started researching it.  I also knew I needed to move out of this apartment, but had no idea where I wanted to live.  I finally decided my TV show idea would have it's best hope if I stayed in Utah, but still didn't know where.  I had accepted a calling to be the Production Assistant for the Bountiful Handcart Days Pageant for 2002 - this has kept me very busy since Mom's death.  I also published Primary Song Ideas for 2002 online with many paid subscribers - also keeping me busy.  I started hunting for the place I wanted to live.  I searched all over Davis, Salt Lake, Utah, Wasatch, Uintah - counties looking for that perfect spot and kept coming up disappointed.  I attended the annual convention for the National Association of Broadcasters in Las Vegas in April - hoping to get a feel for the television industry.  I still felt no clear sense of direction for myself.  At the end of April, my sister Kathy and I went house hunting in Saratogo Springs, just west of Lehi - and we both fell in love with the twin home development right on the lake called Marina Village.  I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and serenity there - and I know that it is in great part due to how much it reminds me of my home in Oxford, Ohio.  This neighborhood is surrounded by rural area - like Springwood where I grew up.  It is wooded with huge shade trees, like my home in Oxford.  The architecture is contemporary - with vaulted ceilings and huge picture windows, like our home in Springwood.  In addition to all that, it is on the lake with a magnificent lakeview with the majestic Mt Timpanogas behind to the East and other mountains to the West.  Well, it is like Shangrila to me - and I feel so peaceful about my decision to build a home there!  I've signed a contract and put down earnest money and should be able to move in before the end of August!

I decided, felt inspired - to start a new children's drama program and have the classroom in my basement.  I am calling it "Get the Point Productions" - and will have some of the bigger activities at Thanksgiving Point.  My goal is to eventually build it toward producing that children's TV show I dream of.  So that is my plan and I am sticking to it!  Everything I have done up till now has been right at the time and now it is right and I am ready for this next great phase of my life!  My Landmark Education has made a huge difference for me, as has the pageant experience I am now involved with, and all my previous business experience.  Mom has made it possible for me to buy a home at last - I am very excited.

December 30, 2002
I am in my new home, I love it - curtains will be nice when I get around to them!  Max has moved in with me so he can attend Utah Valley State College.  It is great to have him here.  Plus, Bill is here much more often than when I lived in Bountiful.  All good stuff.  I became a Sunshine Generation director and started with a tiny class of little girls before I even moved into my new home.  We had our first performance two weeks ago.  I love my new ward - everyone is so friendly and inclusive and they have put me to work on the activities committee and as a Relief Society teacher (4th Sundays), plus I sing in the choir. My sister Kathy lives two doors down and we do stuff together often.  What I love most about my new house is the view from my bedroom window first thing in the morning - I see a spectacular sunrise almost every day!  The other views are also spectacular and I never get tired of them.  There are geese and seagulls and some other kind of little bird that fly over in huge flocks all the time.  I love to watch their choreography!  I can see shooting stars out my living room windows!  I am writing a play to use for my drama classes.  I am learning to use Dreamweaver - a great web design software tool.  I found a stained glass window store and bought the supplies for my first window in over 5 years.  I am excited to get started on it!  So life goes on.  I sure wish I didn't get so much junk mail in my email box!

March 25, 2003 - In January I re-read an old story I loved as a kid, and felt compelled to write a stage adaptation of it. I just started writing and a couple of days later I sent what I had to a few friends.  One of them invited me to teach a play production class that would be starting in a week, where I could direct my play.  So I did!  We worked for 10 weeks and last weekend we performed three times and today we will do two more performances at a local elementary school.  The play, How the Elephant Got His Trunk, is based on the Rudyard Kipling classic.  My friend Julia Allen suggested I call on her sister, Jennifer Lerud, to help me with the music.  Jennifer was a delight to work with and I am very pleased with how the show came together.  My little cast had to play many roles, and backstage we were fitfully tearing off and on costumes, but I think they had a good experience and a good time, I know I did.  They were mostly 9th graders - which was the age I was when I started on stage, so it was like reliving those happy times to work with them.  I'll be starting a new class next week and we will be doing a melodrama I was in at Playmill so long ago, Love Rides the Rails .

Max is still living with me - I enjoy having him here.  He is a good companion and a very good cook, which is a refreshing treat for me after so many years of doing most of the cooking.  He is going to school and has his own car so comes and goes as he pleases.  He has been thinking about joining the Air Force after he goes on a mission.

I love my church ward here.  This week we move into a brand new building a quarter mile from my home, which will be nice.  I continue to publish my online monthly Primary music helps and now, Primary Scripture Search once again, with ever growing numbers of subscribers.  I  have had two classes of Sunshine Generation, but decided to discontinue doing it, as it just isn't my cup of tea, especially at this point in my life, when I'd rather not be tied down to home.  I want to do more acting and voice over work, as well as directing these play production classes.  I will be doing some performing this summer at Thanksgiving Point Gardens.  

My nephew Danny is in Kuwait as a Marine.  So the war with Iraq has taken on a more personal meaning than any previous US military engagement.  I have been torn about the war, but generally feel it needs to happen and hope and pray it is over quickly with minimal loss of life - and once and for all put an end to the reign of terror of Saddam Hussein.


September 13, 2003 - Saratoga Springs, Utah.  Summer came and went.  Bill and Max and I had a cool Spring trip to Saint George where we had a three hour ATV tour, my first time on such a vehicle and I loved it, a drive through Zion, visit to Brigham Young's Winter Home, out to Tuacahn, the wildlife museum which was very interesting - all in all a very nice family trip.  Max and I camped one night at Timpooneke, Jolene Hoeveler visited for a few days, Ramona Zabriskie and kids were in town and we had a nice visit, we helped Pam Maughan from the Casselberry Ward move into her apartment in Pleasant Grove.  We performed Love Rides the Rails a couple of times in South Jordan, I think it went very well.  Max hunted for a job and finally got hired at Papa Murphy's Pizza.  We started doing the Atkins Diet together then switched to the Suzanne Somers Diet.  We presently have lost - Max 40 pounds and me - 25 pounds.  My intention is to just continue eating like this for the rest of my life.  It has become habit and not so hard, in fact, I am not nearly so hungry as I have always been eating lots of comfort foods AKA carbs all my life.

I've started as the Associate Artistic Director for Villa Youtheatre in Springville, very happy to have the chance to work with David Morgan who I met many moons ago in Olympia Washington - I teach the children 5-12 and will be directing the Spring play BUGS! which I was in when I was 15 at Miami University.  I tracked down the playwright via the Miami University Alumni Office and got permission to do the show.  Max is back in school  at UVSC and still working at Papa Murphy's and he is in a couple of Air Force ROTC classes at BYU too - which he seems to really enjoy.  I plan on joining the Utah Wyoming Puppet Guild later this month.  I will be going on a 5 day guided tour of Nauvoo with Meridian Magazine later this month.  I will be starting rehearsal for The Velveteen Rabbit next week - it will be nice to get on stage again.

I enjoyed the summer birds here in Saratoga Springs - I saw pelican, sand crane, loons, some kind of little sandpiper type birds, large flocks of some kind of long necked long beaked long legged birds that fly north every morning off the lake - but I never see them except in flight so I don't know what they are.  We've seen a mamma skunk and 4-5 babies crossing the street, deer right up close near the entrance of the neighborhood, a family of racoons crossing the shallow water on the lake, peacocks, pheasant, bald eagles, owls, Canada Geese, seagulls, ducks, catfish, huge carp in large schools and the other day I saw a fox up in Heber.  I usually see deer when I go in the canyon.  I love seeing all this wildlife, and also the farm animals around here.  I love Saratoga Springs. 

I planned a trip to Oklahoma City to visit my Uncle Everett and Aunt Barbara Woods, but he got quite ill suddenly and I had to cancel my trip.  I hope sometime I am able to visit him after all - but I had a nice phone visit with my cousin Leslie his daughter and then later that day I had a nice phone call from my cousin Alex Kurilovitch in Oswego NY - sad news that my mom's brother Steve had died.  Still, quite a day for long lost cousins!  We all await the birth of Ben and Elizabeth Ross' baby at the end of the year - my first grandniece/nephew.  Danny Coates is home from Kuwait safe and sound and out of the Marines and now attending the University of Utah in computer science. 



May 2, 2004 - Saratoga Springs, UT - whew! What a wild ride I have been on.  Dating is like the most dangerous thing I have ever done in my life.  I hope I can survive it in the future, for I barely survived it in the recent past.  I joined a couple of online LDS dating services and met two men in person - I need to be more careful in the future, let's just leave it at that. 

I did go to Nauvoo in September.  I loved it.  I read the book "The History of Joseph Smith by his Mother" re-edited by Scot and Maurine Proctor - Scot was our guide in Nauvoo - I loved the book and it was even more instrumental in deepening my testimony of the Prophet Joseph. 

I 've been teaching drama in Springville  since September and we produced a Christmas Recital and now we are producing the musical BUGS! - I have some great staff and they have been carrying on while I have only been half aware of my life in 2004 so far. 

I was in two different productions of The Velveteen Rabbit since I last wrote.  A sweet story, and two sweet casts and wonderful direction by David Morgan.  I made puppets that we used - way fun.

I flew to Florida at the end of January for  two weeks to help with the wedding of Christopher and Bhren Zabriskie - I did the flowers and decorations - it was so good to see so many of my dear old Florida friends and extended family of the Zabriskie/Messegee clans - it was rewarding to use my talents and everyone was so appreciative.  I miss feeling that close to so many people - I don't get that feeling here in Utah and I miss it.

I have continued to lose weight on the Suzanne Sommers diet - I bounce around 60 pounds so far.  I haven't really stuck with it for awhile and need to get back on track.

I have really truly had a most traumatic four months involved with a man - I am still reeling in the aftermath - I hope to be able to move on and take some hard won lessons with me - the Lord can teach us through any experience - I am still trying to synthasize what I learned from this one.  Some very important stuff. 

The website subscription stuff continues to grow in popularity and I am very proud of that growth - well proud that it has steadily increased - that takes patience and perseverance and it has paid off.  I took a big risk trying it, and it worked better than I expected. 

Now I want to take a break and make some plans for the future.  I feel like I have been through a very tough year, and I have a lot of experience to process in my brain - and some big decisions to make.  I felt that a big change was on the horizon - and I want to discover what that is.  I have started in therapy - I hope I can learn some techniques that will help me make healthy choices about my future.  In the bygone days, people would go to the seaside or to the country to recuperate for a good long couple of months - I want to do that - life just gets so demanding that it is hard to process our experiences and be decisive rather than reactionary.  Wish me luck.  God bless me to be able to find my way.

Bill and Max are both home with me for a little while.  Max has started his mission papers - we are anticipating and anxious over it now!

November 3, 2004
Tons of stuff keeps happening!  Max and I attended a great friends and family reunion in Nauvoo in July - 45 of us converged to celebrate the fact that Grant Zabriskie was one of the Young Performing Missionaries for the summer - and we had a wonderful time, despite the high heat and humidity.

Max got his mission call!  He is reports to the MTC on December 15, 2004 on his way to the Russia, Yekentarinberg Mission!  How cool is that?!  He is very pumped.  He has been working hard to earn money for his mission and probably will be able to cover all his clothes etc. with that money.  We have Russian heritage so it is extra special to us.

I continued dating - several first/last dates and a couple more involved relationships - brother!  Each one teaches me something very important.  What I realize now is that after my divorce, I really didn't deal with the relationship issues, I basically put my heart into deep freeze.  When I took it out 13 years later, everything was in perfect tact - all raw and freshly wounded the way it went in.  My self-esteem was shattered by my marriage and so that is what condition it was in a year ago.  Thus, I have had to climb out of a pit - clawing my way to the surface.  I know I am making progress - and I am just glad that I haven't gotten married yet - for it would have been a big mistake so far - I am still not done healing this wounded heart yet!

I am now working on some very cool projects with this website and with a new website I am putting together with a VERY talented creative team.  I am scheduled to do my very first real film work!  I was an extra a dozen years ago, and I was on hair crew for a video recently - but this will be a real character in a short BYU student film.  The casting agent saw me in The Velveteen Rabbit in April and got my number from another cast member.  So I didn't even have to audition.  These creative opportunities are hunting me out and finding me, because with all the relationship work I have been focused on, I can hardly manage to do concentrate on anything else in my life.

What I have learned about/from romance:
  • Focusing on other areas of my life does not answer the needs of this area of my life.
  • It is great to be a woman in love.  I don't know if I ever understood what that meant before.
  • I deserve better than crap
  • My pain is valid, acknowledging that allows me to heal.
  • Passion is generated in an environment of trust
  • I don't have to marry anyone I don't want to marry
  • I can attract anyone who is right for me in every needed way - not just very broken souls.
  • I deserve my equal - including giving equally in a relationship
  • I am more sensitive than I thought - the hurts from my marriage were profound to me - the self-concept I came out of it with was not accurate.
  • Father in Heaven is watching and protecting me.
  • The atonement is real.
  • Everyone else is as self-conscious as I am.
  • Being single is not good.
  • Healing is coming - and if I can heal, it won't be a rescue operation - which invariably is overly emotional and very short-sighted.
  • Agency is for all - including me and all the men I may come in contact with.



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