1. Hope

a. Jesus Christ is the author of hope. Through him, we can successfully follow the plan of Salvation and return to our Father in Heaven. Without him, there is no hope and no purpose. Our relationship with our Heavenly parents is like that of a baby eaglet with adult parent eagles. Scrawny and helpless, we desire to be like our parents, and they desire the same for us. And after feeding us for weeks to help us grow in size and feather, the day comes when they have done for us all they can. The next step is dangerous but necessary. They must push us out of the nest and off the edge of the cliff that has been our home. For to be like our parents, we must learn to fly. The drop is extensive. Death awaits us if we hit the ground. But it is the very distance that is our hope, that, and the wind, for it gives us time to flap and flap and finally find our balance on the air current. Earth life is like the drop, and the atonement of Christ is like the wind beneath our wings that allows us to soar.

b. Since I was a child, I knew that there was something very important about Jesus. The entire world celebrated his birth each Christmas. Churches dotted the land and preachers preached that Jesus Saves. I wasn't sure what that meant. As the years went by I learned more about what made Jesus so special, and I had no trouble accepting what I learned. But I had one question. What about me? Am I included in that great work he did, and if so, how can I know? That seemed to be the question that bothered me for years. And in 1975 two missionaries helped me to see how I fit in to the big story. It has been very important for me to keep in mind my own place in the plan, to take it very personally. Life is overwhelming at times and it is so easy to lose sight of the big picture and get caught up in the demands of the moment. I'd like to share some of the things that help me remember who I am and what my potential is, and hang on to the hope Christ provides in the midst of affliction.

i. The scriptures are records of people who have been there and done that before me. As I learn of their experiences, I relate myself to what they went through, and in so doing, I can project what will happen to me based on what happened to them. It is like built in foresight of spiritual progress. The more real the people of the scriptures become to me, the more I can relate to them and learn from them. Men and women who had incredible experiences were not so different from us if we open our hearts to them, they can teach us and give us eternal perspective.

ii. My patriarchal blessing is personal scripture for me. In it, I discover how my Father in Heaven sees me. That person seems a far cry from how I see myself at times. But he knows me better than I know myself, and reading my blessing often, reminds me of who I really am. In the 21 years that have transpired since I received my blessing, many things that were foretold have come to pass. As I see this happening, it gives me hope that all the blessings promised me can be fulfilled.

iii. The temple is another place where things are put into eternal perspective. We go inside and leave the world behind for a few hours. We change from our street clothes into white, further removing us from the world. The building is beautiful and peaceful. But most importantly for me is the work that takes place. The blessings and covenants are so beyond worldly concerns, and when we listen closely and contemplate what we hear, what we promise and are promised, we understand our own eternal nature. We sacrifice our selfish needs to serve as saviors to those who cannot perform necessary ordinances for their eternal welfare, and recognizing the importance of that work, lifts me above all the things in life that pull me down and discourage me. I come closer to my eternal potential in the temple and that fills me with hope.

iv. Another thing that brings eternity into focus is facing death. I have yet to face my own death, to realize even for a moment that I am on the verge of leaving this life. That has not happened to me yet. But I have experienced my father's death, and I have never been the same since. I was able to be there and help care for my father as he battled with cancer in his last days on this earth. Because I had never really dealt with the death of someone I was so close to, I blindly clung to the hope that he would recover. Finally, I knew that was not going to happen, and my prayers changed. My father was not LDS nor did he have any faith that there was certain life after death. My prayer was that I might somehow go with him into the spirit world for just a moment, so that I could see the look on his face when he recognized the truth and knew there was life after death. I knew that was a preposterous prayer, but I had heard of strange things happening to people, so, I asked for it. I didn't want to see what he saw, and I didn't want to stay with him, just see his face. On the morning of August 31, 1980, my mother ran through the house crying out my name, and I came running to my father's bedside. He lay still, as he had done for three days in a coma. But for the first time in days, his eyes were open. There was no sound, no breath, no heartbeat. Daddy was gone. What had caused him to open his eyes? Then I realized that my prayer had been answered. Rather than going with him into the spirit world, the spirit world had come to him while still in his body and he looked with his physical eyes at those who came to escort him home, and then he rose out of his poor old body and went with them, and I was able to see the look on his physical face, as I had prayed I would. It took a couple months for me to face the reality of Daddy's death. We stayed with Mom in Ohio for about 5 weeks, and then drove out to Utah and school. Every evening I was alone with baby Billy, while my husband worked swing shift. Those were long quiet nights, and absolutely every thing I saw and every thought I had somehow reminded me of my dad, or the horror of his illness, and of my love for him and the great loss I felt. Finally one night I had a dream in which my father came to visit us as a spirit. Besides his message to me that everything was all right, the most powerful thing about his visit was the look of peace that was on his face. A look I had never seen while he was alive, in fact, a peace that I have never seen on any face ever, before or since. And so striking was this to me that I knew that my father had let go of all the emotional baggage he had carried around in life. All the pain, disappointment, anger, frustration, guilt, regret, misunderstanding, humiliation, conflict, large and small, it was all gone. And I have thought ever since, "If Daddy dropped his burden, then I know I can drop mine. And if I am going to drop my burdens in the next life, why should I carry them around with me now?" The peace on my father's face at that time, and the peace, understanding and acceptance I have felt from his spirit in subsequent moments when I have felt him with me, has given me more hope than nearly anything else. I loved my father. He was not perfect. I am not perfect. He is ok. He is at peace. I will be as well. I know it. I strive for that, not always successfully, here and now.

v. One last thing that gives me hope is recognizing that I have progressed already. The only way I can really tell that is that I keep prodigious journals. I fill a journal in anywhere from 9 to 18 months. It seems I write more when I am troubled, and less when I am busy with happy things. At any rate, it amazes me how quickly I forget about the path I have traveled. As soon as I pass through a phase, I forget it. If it weren't for journals, and old letters, and photo albums, etc. I would not know where I came from. Seeing that I have made progress gives me hope that I will yet progress more.

a. This brings me to the subject of goals. I have but one goal, upon which all else is based. My goal is eternal life. I figure that I came to this earth to gain eternal life, and that I had some specific things to use my time on earth to accomplish. I knew what my mission was to be and I enthusiastically volunteered to fulfill it. Unfortunately, I have forgotten what my mission was. But God knows. He remembers. And I can find out what it is from the spirit. I need to be worthy to have the spirit as my companion. I'd like to share a few of the things I think help me most to cultivate the spirit in my life, so that I can know my course and follow it to achieve my goal of eternal life.
i. Study the scriptures. Here we are again, back at the scriptures. Surprise surprise! In 1986 when I was at one of the lowest points in my life, in a daze from what I was dealing with at the time, I enrolled in an institute class in Olympia, Washington. It was the second half of the Book of Mormon, and the wonderful teacher who I adored, I doubt had any knowledge of my personal crisis. But he told us at the first class, that if we studied our assignments not like we were going to have a test, but as if we were going to teach the class, we would experience personal revelation in regards to our own life. All I wanted was someone to pump me with anything positive, since my life was in such a mess at the moment. I couldn't think straight, let alone receive revelation. But I followed his instructions, and discovered he knew of what he spoke. For the scriptures opened up to me like they never had before, and I drew closer to the spirit than ever in my life. The Lord strengthened and guided me, and the scriptures were such an important part of that.

ii. Prayer. When we kneel before our God and pour our hearts out to him, when we thank him for our blessings, we have to recall them first, it is a life altering practice to recall and acknowledge and give thanks for our blessings. It brings us closer to the love Father shines on us. It reminds us that he is aware of the smallest most intimate matter in our lives. And the spirit can come and surround us when we humble ourselves this way.

iii. Keep the commandments. This is two part. Part A is to avoid temptation and sin. Part B is to replace these natural tendencies with good, following Christ's example. Then the Holy Ghost will be our companion and we will know it.

iv. Serve with Charity. This is the pure love of Christ. And I submit to you that when we act toward our fellow man with charity, we take upon ourselves the character of Christ, and we become Christ for those we serve. And to the degree and extent that we involve ourselves willingly in this work, it is to that same degree that an impression is made upon our souls, to change us. The spirit absolutely attends us when we act with charity. What form our service takes is unique to each of us. We all have gifts to share, we have different abilities, skills, and talents, and we all have time. When we do what we can with love, this is charity. When we do for others what they cannot do for themselves, that is charity. Performing it alters us forever. Because it is reminiscent of what the Savior did for us. This is one form of charity, and the more of it we can do the better off we are, the more the spirit can work within us. Another form of charity is caring for others needs instead of our own. If we were to take two people, John and Mary, and we could somehow measure the amount of energy it took for each of them to take care of their own needs, and there was a way to measure the degree of satisfaction achieved, and we recorded these figures. Then if rather than meeting his own needs, John cared for Mary, and Mary cared for John using the exact same amount of energy they had both used to meet their own needs, what would happen to the level of satisfaction achieved? I submit to you that by so doing, the entire formula changes. Plus signs change to multiplication signs, or numbers are squared or cubed or something. I believe that physical laws are actually brought into play, and there is a kind of physics that applies to love. Without this love, we cannot, there is no way, to accomplish the great eternal work of saving the family of man. With it, well, it is everything, it is why we are here. b. So now our lives are a fertile bed in which the spirit can prosper. And we can ask for the answer to our original question, the one that will help us achieve our goal of eternal life, "What is my mission on this earth, and how do I fulfill it?" The spirit, who is our companion, will readily answer us, and we will be tuned in to listen and hear. What will the answer be? Do you think it might be, "You've been doing a lovely job of fulfilling it lately, keep up the good work."